My New Manager Shows Favoritism Towards Other Coworkers, What Should I Do?

Your Corporate Black Girl

Dear Nikki,

My new manager seems not to like me from her actions. Iā€™m not invited to meetings, she stops my computer reports, I do not get emails other departmental coworkers get, even flowers given to all staff. Should I confront her or tell Human Resources with dates and incidents or tell coworkers about the treatment?

Atlanta, Georgia

At first glance, I can see why you feel like there's favoritism or like you're being scapegoated but I believe we need to dive into the details on this a bit more and then come up with a form of action.

A few questions that need clarification:

  1. How long has the new manager been there?

  2. Are your coworkers getting things like flowers for something like a birthday or bereavement? What are the circumstances for these occasions?

  3. Does your role require you to go to certain meetings that you were previously involved in before your new manager got here? What makes you feel like you should be invited to these meetings?

If you're not getting reports, there may be an issue that neither you or your manager is aware of, like automated distribution lists. Have you mentioned to the manager that you're not receiving the reports? What was the manager's reaction? What was done next?
After you've taken a deeper look into some of these questions, here are some things NOT to do:

Don't talk to coworkers about this. It gives off the vibes that you're gossiping and not concerned with resolving the tension. Don't feed into the behavior by contributing to it. Now is not the time for an "eye for an eye" treatment. Don't continue to make assumptions. Get answers!

Here's what I think you can do to help:

  • Schedule a 1:1 meeting with your manager and take that opportunity to tell your manager about the missing reports. Give her an opportunity to give you an explanation and to correct this.

  • Take this time to clarify your role in the department. Ask your manager where they see you in your current role and if they see things that you're doing well. You also need to ask if there are areas of improvement too.

  • In this situation, I would set up this 1:1 meeting with your manager as a reoccurring meeting, for every 2 weeks. This will give you both time to make any corrective actions from the meeting before and start to see progress being made.

If there's no progress and you're still feeling like you're getting the cold shoulder from your manager, then I would schedule some time with your Human Resources liaison and seek further guidance. If things get to this point, bring only FACTS to HR, and state the efforts you've made to resolve the issue, along with the list of factual information about the manager. Do not include your feelings about the treatment you're getting. Only facts. You can mention dates and things discussed etc.

Again, I understand you may feel like you're being mistreated here but you really need to take a step back and look at the facts. Bring factual details about your role to your manager's attention, give them a chance to turn things around. If you don't see change over time, then have a discussion with HR.

Keep your head up,

Nikki Davis

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Your curly girl manager, just trying to live her happiest life! 

Wife, new mom, member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. with 11 years industry experience, 6 years of management experience. Manager a team of men in a male dominant industry, while being the only woman on the team. DIY fashion blogger, a self taught seamstress. Owner/Creator of a monthly subscription service,

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