My Manager Rolls Her Eyes and Gets Passive-Aggressive Towards Me

Dear Nikki,

My manager rolls her eyes and gets hella passive aggressive each time I mispronounce a white person’s name. Now I couldn’t do that to her if she mispronounced a Haitian or an Indian person’s name, for example. So why expect me to know all white people’s names? These are names of people we’ve never met, by the way.

Going to HR is not an option because I am a mid-level HR professional and she is the HR Director. My HR = the Chief Talent Officer and I don’t think this is worth the escalation. Am I tripping? Or should I say something to her? I already know she’s going to deny it.

Mid-Level Professional

Boston, Massachusetts

Dear Curious & Culturally Appropriate,

I wouldn't sweat this. Some attitudes aren't worth addressing even though it's hard not to take offense to them. She very well not be aware of what she's projecting. Most people are ignorant to themselves.

Don't let this be your battle to fight...

Something my boss always tells me is to, be "above reproach". I had to look that up, because I hadn't heard of it thus far. This basically means, to be blameless in your actions, so regardless of what she's doing, do better than her. Those people whose opinions matter will see you.

Stay focused! You've got this!

Nikki Davis

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Your curly girl manager, just trying to live her happiest life! 

Wife, new mom, member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. with 11 years industry experience, 6 years of management experience. Manager a team of men in a male dominant industry, while being the only woman on the team. DIY fashion blogger, a self taught seamstress. Owner/Creator of a monthly subscription service,

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